Setting Goals

We have always encouraged people to share their goals with others.  The thought behind this is, once a goal is shared, it’s like committing to achieving it – almost like an unwritten contract.  We also think that by sharing your goals, you are likely to find supporters who can help you or point you in the right direction.  This video though contradicts that, and Derek Sivers advises us to keep our goals to ourselves.  New learning comes from being open to others suggestions and so we include this video for you to watch and comment here with your thoughts.

Here’s the video for you to watch: Derek Sivers on the topic of Keeping your goals to yourself…

By | 2016-12-19T17:30:23+00:00 December 3rd, 2012|Coaching|13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Cath Lloyd 05/01/2013 at 9:46 am - Reply

    That’s interesting. So it is only time to share your goal when you have done all your goal setting and action planning and are then ready to seek positive support of certain people.

  2. sue cleasby 07/01/2013 at 9:07 pm - Reply

    Sue Cleasby
    This makes sense. Sharing a goal is a nice thing to do and can also cause stress for both parties, with the potential to dissapoint. To get on and just do it makes the achieving all the better, as its all in the outcome anywa,y and my goal belongs to me.

  3. Andrew Norman 23/02/2014 at 3:01 pm - Reply

    This video makes great sense to me. The most stressful part of the introductory weekend was the thought of expressing my goals in front of a room full of people.

    Personal goals have always worked better for me when they have remained personal. Just getting on with what is needed to achieve the goals has always worked much better for me.

    As soon as they are voiced out load they start to lose strength and begin defusing. There is also very often a barrage of negative, or unsupportive or ‘meant to be helpful’ responses from family and friends which drown out the original thinking and starts to take the ‘soul out of the goal’.

  4. Deborah Critchley 12/02/2015 at 8:59 pm - Reply

    Being a reflector it makes perfect sense

  5. Shivashtie Poonwassie 17/06/2015 at 1:11 pm - Reply

    It is just how I feel about my goals, I like to keep them personal because they maintain a certain strength and potency not being shared – but the question is when you’re surrounded by people who are always asking you what you want to do or what do you want to achieve – what do you say? Sometimes you can’t say nothing because they react as though you don’t have any goals, which then implies something else.

  6. Matt 17/06/2015 at 8:37 pm - Reply

    I understand what he’s saying. I think it depends why you are telling people. Are you telling everyone to make it a reality or telling people because you are so convinced that it will be a reality that it doesn’t make a difference if you tell people or not? It’s all in the mindset and everybody is different 🙂

  7. Amisha 19/09/2015 at 10:31 am - Reply

    Makes sense. but after just finishing the GROW model with Kate in the last 2 days, am confused whether to work with a coach on the goal or not

  8. Manuel 13/01/2016 at 7:19 am - Reply

    it can be down to how you tell your goal. If you do it in a way to be held accountable for it you may get a different results

  9. Sue Webb 13/01/2016 at 8:07 am - Reply

    Yes and no..
    I am doing the Dryathlon this month and the fact that I have told EVERYONE (and asked for sponsorship) is definitely the key to keep going for me. I’d love a glass of wine!!! But I won’t.

    However, I am also going for a healthy, fit, toned and slim body – and haven’t told anyone about this. I am hoping that a beautiful – detoxed – swan will emerge at the end of January and everyone will notice!

  10. Vijai G 27/01/2016 at 12:58 pm - Reply

    Thanks for bringing this into discussion, its really help to understand the concepts to next level…I think, it depends on the personality of the person. If ones takes too much satisfaction of it and sleeps off, then he / she should not be saying it. But person like me, when I declare it and wait for people to ridicule because thats gives the energy to me 🙂 … and it also reminds me that I have said it but not done it… puts lot of pressure on me…

  11. Ian McGill 14/04/2016 at 8:35 am - Reply

    I think that if you focus on your goal then you are less likely to focus on the obstacles in your way. So whether you tell someone or don’t tell someone is a personal choice. You must do what works for you and change it if it doesn’t, For the record I tell people my goal as I feel it adds motivation for me…

  12. Kate 22/04/2016 at 1:51 pm - Reply

    Love both sides of this debate. By sharing your goal you get support and pressure to deliver – by keeping quiet you have that element of surprise and satisfaction. Stupidly shared a goal of mine to a group of people to run 10K over Mont Blanc. Now not only committed but terrified – but equally determined to do it.

  13. Francoise 20/04/2017 at 7:48 am - Reply

    The biggest tip I got whilst was pregnant was to not share the due date of my baby’s birth and let’s face it, it is not a certain date, it is a presumed date. The reason is that it then puts pressure on you as people start asking closer to the time, “is baby here yet?” then if you are past the due date and already stressing people will ask “where is this baby?”. You cannot obviously hide that you are pregnant but by not defining an exactitude as such, you put less pressure on yourself. People are therefore less likely to be checking in on you if that makes sense. The same goes for goals, people will want to check in, “are you there yet?” and it opens doors to unnecessary pressure. I therefore always share my vision as I think the goal needs to be malleable. I don’t present it as an ultimate action plan. This opens still windows of opportunities as you are sharing an idea but it does not constrain you. This also means that your goal can evolve in a slightly different way without feeling like you have failed.

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