The eyes are the windows to the soul – Leonardo da Vinci
Over the next few days I would like to show you how to build instant rapport with the people you meet. Rapport, I believe, is the key to having great relationships and friendships, and it’s those friendships that help bring us a world of happiness.
We are going to add in 3 skills over the next three days to help you build rapport but today, your task is to watch the following video and simply notice how peoples eyes will move depending on ‘how’ they are thinking…
As well as language and physiology, people will show their thinking process through movements with their eyes. This may sound weird, but as you communicate with people today, notice their eye movements as they think and communicate back.
- There eyes will move into six main areas:
- Visual remembered (Seeing images from memory)
- Visual construct (images never seen before)
- Auditory remembered (recalling sound)
- Auditory construct (making up sounds not heard before)
- Kinesthetics (Feelings)
- Self talk (internal dialogue)
Today, when you ask someone a question, you will be able to determine ‘how’ they are thinking about the answer because of the way their eyes move… By learning to notice these eye accessing cues you will be able to distinguish how people think.
The six areas for you to notice the eyes moving into, as you look at the person are:
- Visual remembered EYES UP TO YOUR RIGHT
- Visual construct EYES UP TO YOUR LEFT
- Auditory remembered EYES ACROSS TO YOUR RIGHT
- Auditory conStruct EYES ACROSS TO YOUR LEFT
- Kinesthetics EYES DOWN TO YOUR LEFT
- Self talk EYES DOWN TO YOUR RIGHT
Roughly 80% of us follow these eye accessing cues. 20% follow the reverse of these.
The following video should, I hope, make this clear.