Kate and I have been working on this for quite some time but now it’s finally here – Our NLP App. Available for Android and iPhone smartphone users.
You will find all of our NLP Video’s, Audio files for the NLP Practitioner, our Calendar, maps of our training venues, photo’s, blog site, our Contact details and lot’s more.
And guess what - It’s free!
We are delighted to bring you yet another benefit of training with us.
To get the app simply follow these links:
For Android phone users: Type in ‘NLP Training’ or ‘Toby McCartney’ into your app store.
For iPhone Users: TBC
“It’s on me…”
I spend most of my working week in ‘Wi-Fi enabled’ coffee shops in my local town of Carlisle, and caught myself staring out of the window last Tuesday.
I was watching a middle aged man, unwashed and unshaven with dirty looking jeans on and a ripped duffel jacket. He sat outside the coffee shop in the cold, arms stretched out holding a ‘Costa Coffee’ takeaway cup for people to place coins in. As I looked closer, I recognised the man… He was once a maths lecturer at my University and someone who tutored me through my first year maths exams…
I left my table and went out to speak to him.
“Mr.Taylor” I said, “You may not remember me but…”
“Toby. Am I right?” he said… I couldn’t believe he remembered me.
He told me that his luck was down. He had lost his job years ago and had suffered with severe depression when his wife passed away. “This is what life has in store for me now” he said, “Still doing the maths, but just to count what little change I can scrounge from passers by…”
I asked him if I could help. He said “No thank you – unless you can find it in your heart to buy me a coffee and sandwich. It’s freezing out here, and I’m starving.”
Of course I bought him a coffee and sandwich, and as I gave it to him he asked me to cup my hands. He tipped the few coins he had in his takeaway coffee cup and said “I know it’s not enough, but it’s all I have.”
“It’s on me.” I said and handed him back the coins…
I began thinking about Mr. Taylor and what I could do differently to help…
I read about a scheme on Facebook that started in Naples. I think it’s called ‘Suspended coffee’s’ and it reminded me of my encounter and how we can all help people like Mr. Taylor. Most of us think nothing of paying for a friends coffee or sandwich when we meet for lunch, so what if, every time we go for a coffee we buy an extra one and add it to the “It’s on me” account at the coffee shop. If the coffee shop hasn’t heard of the scheme, tell them this story (or print it out and give it to them). Those who find themselves on the street and in the cold and can’t afford a coffee can ask in the coffee shop if there are any coffee’s on the “It’s on me” scheme. Your pre-paid coffee will be given to them, and it’s all “on you”.
It’s a simple idea and it only costs a couple of pounds. It’s simply about being nicer to each other… What have you done today that’s for someone else?
I have never really thought of our daughter’s naming day as an Interfaith ceremony until the leader of our interfaith group suggested we might share the details of the day as a way to offer suggestions and ideas to others (hence my sharing this now). To us, we have always believed that we all ‘do’ much the same thing; we just label that activity in different ways. For example we planted a fig tree in our garden and asked our guests to tie a ribbon onto it. The ribbon represented something that they would want for our daughter India as she grew.
“Some might see this like a wish, others a goal, others might see it like a prayer”.
Toby, my husband, offered these varying labels to our friends and family. Whichever one they chose (wish, goal, prayer) the essence was the same. In addition, I believe that whatever quality they chose for India, that they must have this quality within them, and that, on some level, they will share this with her as she grows.
At the start of the day we confessed that we had no idea what happened at a naming ceremony and were really designing it as we went along. Also, whilst our guests may have come along under the impression that they day was about India, it was actually about them. In fact, a celebration of them and all that they are, because India will be influenced by the qualities that they demonstrate.
As she grows she will (like all children) model what she sees. So the day is to thank them for the love they share, the humour they create, the compassion they demonstrate, the cheekiness, the great cooking, the style, humility, the kindness… India will become all that they are and do, how could she not?
And then, like all good McCartney bashes, this ‘ceremony’ (if you could call 50 people gathered around the pond in our garden a ‘ceremony’) was followed by lots of drink and incredible food laid on by India’s doting Grandparents. The sun even came out and shone brightly on what was a very special day. So, if you are planning a day for your baby or child you might like to ask yourself what would you want for them in their life? (rather than just the day) as a new frame of thinking and a new creative platform.
I wish you and your loved ones the very best,
Peace Day 2010 is tomorrow (21st September).
If you haven’t already made a commitment for Peace Day, we have the perfect opportunity…
Our Peace One Day Celebration 2010 webcast will be streamed online on Peace Day, Tuesday 21 September – evening playouts in multiple time zones: 20:00 UK BST; 21:00 Europe CEDT; 21:00 Sydney; 21:00 Singapore; 21:00 US EDT; 21:00 US PDT. Anyone in the world can view the webcast play-outs, even if you are not in one of the targeted time zones.
Hosted by Jude Law and Sharon Stone, the concert features performances from Patti Smith, Youssou Ndour, Vanessa Paradis, Charlie Winston, -M-, Yodelice and Ayo.
Tickets cost 9.99/8.25/$12.75. All proceeds go to the non-profit Peace One Day to support us in reaching 3 billion people with the message of Peace Day by September 2012.
Click here now for webcast tickets:
I do hope you can join us and please spread the word. Thanks for your continued support.
Toby and I visited Dans le noir ( a restaurant in London that serves dinner in the dark, the pitch dark). We read their website beforehand so we were prepared to be guided to our table and cared for by blind waiters and for experiencing food in a new more sensory rich way. We were not however prepared to meet other people!
As we arrived at our table and ‘felt’ our way around our chair, we discovered we were next to a couple on a blind date. A real blind date. The man had arranged for them to meet in the dark and have an experience of meeting and talking first without the typical perceptions and judgements connected to how we look.
The night was fun, exciting and massively revealing to me. I listened in a whole new way. I reached a level of comfort and authenticity with them in moments that I would usually only find with close friends over a long time. Fuelled by the safety of darkness we decided to offer real feedback of what we ‘thought’ we each look liked based on our voices and mannerisms. Firstly treading lightly ‘tall’ ‘dark haired’ and then warming up to ‘I think you’re the kind of person you could really depend on, salt of the earth’. My perception was that this couple had been together for a long time. To me they sounded connected, rapportful and very much in love. I was so shocked to discover that they had only just met and had not even seen each other yet.
Once our meals were finished (not that we really knew if there was food left over or not…) we were guided back out into the lit bar and could suddenly ‘see’ our dining companions. We continued chatting about our experience over a drink but then slowly the conversation became slower and more difficult. To me, it was as if the visual perceptions and judgements kicked in. Something shifted now that we could see each other. I dislike the part of me that now felt the couple seemed a bit oddly matched. In what way was I now judging based on appearance? Having an hour and a half in the dark without this filter was liberating, but I don’t usually live in darkness – so I must therefore judge appearances all the time. An uncomfortable learning.
If you get the chance (or make the chance) I recommend going. The experience of being cared for and waited on by my waitress Lisa was also memorable. For a couple of hours she guided me safely around her world, in such a way that I felt privileged to be in the dark. It was a celebration of darkness not a ‘guilt trip’ as some may expect. Of course your experience may well vary from mine, but if you are interested in learning about yourself and how you experience and respond to different situations (and indeed how others do to) then this will be right up your street!
We left the restaurant on a high filled with questions – many of which remain unanswered. Who am I when the lights are off? and in what way does that vary to when they are on? Do I use my ability to see others as a way of judging them too? Do you?
As for the couple, he had arranged for ‘another’ surprise and they headed off into the west end. My hope for them is that they continue to have the insight that the darkness created.
YOU ARE INVITED TO
TOBY’S NLP BUNGEE JUMP…
It’s time for a social event I think…
How do you fancy joining me in London on 20th November 2010 for the thrill of a lifetime? Let’s help each other break through the fear of jumping from a 160 foot crane at the O2 arena in London, and afterwards go for a well deserved drink together… It’s all booked, and will cost you just £75 to join in. I hope you can make it… We can use our NLP skills to overcome the fear and prove to ourselves that we can achieve anything we want to if we put our minds to it!
If you are up for the challenge, type your name and a short message into the comments section on this blog post and I will book your place. If you just fancy meeting for a drink after the jump on the 20th November, let me also know in the comments section and I will look forward to seeing you then. Let’s have some fun!